This year has been all about construction.
The highlight was probably having access to a the covid-19 vaccine ... as early as April, 2021 since I am considered immunocompromised, having had radiotherapy until December last year. I was lucky to be among the early recipients of the vaccine worldwide. I did not hesitate because I also knew we would have to cross borders this year.
In September, my first year post-breast-cancer test was clear. Best of news.
We owe it to medical scientists who lifted the world this year!
Nevertheless, I made sure my daughter would get the Pfizer since Astrazeneca gave me huge pressure headaches that would not have gone well with her chronic head pain condition. We both were among the lucky few in the world to be fully vaccinated by June.
In February, I completed my Psychology Sciences degree from the University of New England. I enrolled in a Master of Sciences (Major Psychology) in July 2021, and was offered a scholarship. The subject of my thesis is about Barriers to Bowel Cancer Screening.
We recieved this note from the Vice-Chancellor.
My workplace was eery and deserted. One day, I had to collect my new work computer, and here is our kitchen's signage, and our empty reception desk, no one there except for two people that day.
We were hit once again, by a new restructuration. My work is slowly being replaced by algorithms feeding on translators' working and long term memories.
Hence the new studies to keep me going with making a living over the next 10 years, while working remotely from home. My options of the kind of work I can make a living of is limited, but the event of telehealth and covid-19 new work habits (work from home being the new black) are giving me new hopes :)
Times were tough this year, not my favourite year to remember, between my two jobs, looking after my daughter with no break, and being a full time psychology research student.
What carried me through was that I knew that what I was doing was constructive.
From time to time, I would indulge in Ayuverdic massages in West End :)
We also discovered HelloFresh meals delivered to our home once a week, with each day ingredients packed in a paper bag, with its easy & healthy recipee ready to go. We enjoyed cooking together these delicious meals. My daughter made Kumquat marmelade with fruits from our garden, and we went strawberry picking.
We also managed to go camping in Byron Bay for one week in February. As you can see, we made it very comfortable.
It was important to fill our mind with great memories, while we could, because we knew that the rest of the year was going to be very tough with medical tests. We were waiting for the surgeons to decide when it would be a good moment to proceed, they seemed very busy, and this was highly anxiolitic.
Then, my son celebrated his 20th birthday with his friends at home. He now lives with friends in a house nearby, and seems happy. He is still looking for what he will do later in life, but his paramedics studies are going well. His age group has been hit hardly by covid confinements.
In June, after a long serie of ambulance calls (x17 this year, note that this is less than last year), each one following loss of consciousness (triggered by pain) lasting more than 50 minutes, my daughter was admitted in pain management for one week at St Vincent Hosptial to reset her pain medicine's bearance threshold. We were waiting and waiting for Sydney to call us to advance the neurosurgical aspect of her treatment.
Louis, our dog was accepted as a hospital's visitor. It was his first time in a lift, he lowered his abdomen in fright, not at all reassured. All the staff loved him.
June: a darling friend made a beautiful vegan cake for me on my birthday.
By July, the Sydney surgeons (x3) finally gave us the go ahead. It was still tough with getting finances in time, and getting a Queensland Government special authorisation to travel to Sydney for the procedure. In fact, we got the authorisation on the Saturday for a procedure in Sydney on Monday. The call came from the Qld Health Chief Officer office at 8am on Saturday morning. I had almost cancelled the flights and was about to call the surgery on Friday, good I did not: I had hopes until the last moment. We had been waiting for this procedure for nine months!
We were going to be quarantined in Sydney, in a hotel, for my part, while my daughter would be at the hospital opposite the hotel, for two weeks, and for two other weeks back in Brisbane. Since we needed special bed equipment - see below the hospital bed delivered at home while we were in Sydney with a neighbour helping out for the delivery (thank you),
we had exceptionally been allowed to quarantine from home on the way back. The dog would also need be quarantined! We also needed to be vaccinated, luckily, we both were. The flights' embarkments and border crossing were not going to go smooth.
The Ordeal
We set to go to Sydney to try this important neurosurgical test for my daughter, which involved a halo brace for up to three months (feel free to google it, I do not wish to post pictures of it; these are images I'd rather forget). Despite the shock of the first hours when she wanted it out, with the surgeon's encouragement telling her that her initial reaction was normal, that all patients say that, she followed through, and was able to keep the halo brace for four weeks. I was not allowed to visit her to the hospital because of NSW covid regulations, but the nurse would take her outside to meet me twice, and we would practice hanging around in her new attire & wheelchair around the university-hospital grounds to get used to it, facing people here and there, in preparation for the flight back.
Our trip going to Sydney
Working from my hotel room the second week of July - we had to stay longer than anticipated.
Back in Queensland, the seizures did not stop, and when the ambulance was once called, we were admitted as 'potential covid' patient for having been in the 'danger zone' (NSW); it was rather dramatic with full PPE gear and security.
At the end, we had to wait for three hours for a taxi-ambulance to take us back home, in a bed in a respiratory unit with one guy who had just been checked for covid coming from hotel quarantine. I fell as close to hell with fear as one can be. Just breathing was dangerous.
We eventually had to stop the test earlier than anticipated because of a number of complications. I cannot say it was with great disappointment because the halo brace trial was very difficult to bear for her, and for myself as her mother (worst day of my life when she skyped me 10 mns after she woke up from the procedure), but my understanding was that one more week would have been more conclusive, and we tried hard to make it last. We had just reached baseline pain medicine level, since time was needed to overcome the pain associated to the procedure itself. Now, at week four, we would start seeing if the device had a beneficiary effect on her pain levels or not, which could lead to a better understanding of her condition, and perhaps, a specific kind of surgery in such case. Some surgeons said it was conclusive enough, some didn't think so.
We did not find the solution to her ailment yet, but we did learn some elements to advance her case, and that was one of the purpose. We knew it would not be easy at this stage since we are treading at the limit of experimental investigations.
This below, is a token of gratitude from my daughter while she was hospitalised for complications in Brisbane in September after the quarantine. It was hand delivered. I was in the garage in the front of the house, I thought it had been an error, I could not believe my luck when I saw the flowers gift from my daughter.
The Halo brace test was followed early December by a much less invasive modified Aspen brace test for a couple of days only.
The rest of the year was again punctuated by ambulance calls. On one occasion, cold symptoms had her sent in the 'Bubble' (respiratory unit) where I was not allowed and where no pain management would take place, just 'waiting on her covid results'.
This is a rare picture I took of the ambulances - I am usually too busy but I took this one as they were leaving. I followed with my car shortly after. You can see here that three ambulances were called (Nov) - three ambulances means acute care with respiratory specialist and emergency doctor called upon.
I got three of these stickers over the last 15 days :( ... they are emergency area visitor's stickers.
You will understand what I meant when I replied to these three women in one go (see previous post labelled 'Ghosts from the past' (https://corinasays.blogspot.com/2021/10/ghosts-from-past-coming-out-unexpectedly.html - click web version to find previous posts) that all what they were talking about was 'peripheral' to me.
What they all did is despicable.
If you look at the Maslow pyramid, you will see that survival comes first, it is the mode I have been in for quite a long time now and there was no choice. Fortunately, I am also constructing, and I hope it will eventually bear its fruicts. Of course, nothing is guaranteed. Although we go through very difficult moments, my daughter and I are the queens of seizing good moments when we can.
We were lucky to finally get some help from NDIS support workers once we were out of quarantine and my daughter off hospitals in October. One is coming on Saturdays, this gives me a bit of freedom. When I can, and when I don't swim at UQ pool, I go to see exhibitions.
These sculptures made of recycled plastic were photographed in beautiful New Farm park.
I went to the Lyrical Landscapes Exhibition, on the Gold Coast, a mixture of music and local landscapes paintings
Picture of a distraught news presenter in time of covid - his eyes reveal his fear despite his composed placitude
2021: The year the world discovered the QR code, this is the pub entrance opposite my workplace.
I get a lot of pleasure from contemplation, fortunately, now that my life has become much more housebound. The ever changing colours of eucalyptus trees under the rain keeps me in awe of nature's spectacle.
By chance, I met, through a friend, an artist who sees what I see, but paints better than me, and today, she accepted to redo a painting that she already sold. I will put the painting below downstairs.
Support did not come from where I ever would have expected, but it came, and I am so grateful for those who will recognise themselves for being there when I most needed them to, and who helped me accomplish what I had to accomplish this year. This includes the support workers.
Here are some rum balls brought to me by one of you.
Now, let's look at the larger picture. Of course we had the Olympic games in Tokyo while we were quarantined at home in Brisbane. The dog stole the remote control but we ordered one online illico. My daughter had her halo brace, but she stood to salute the two Australian medallists (sisters) who used to train with her at 5:30am in her primary school swimming pool when they were young. I wonder if they will know one day the circumstance in which my daughter was saluting them, even the dog was obliged to salute them :) This is from our our TV screen, capturing the 'Salute' moment.
And, of course, we had the very important Glasgow Climate Change conference. When I studied International Relations (IR), we were all asked at the end (2013) what, in our humble opinion, is the biggest current challenge in IR. I wrote about 'Climate Change', we were only two thinking so.
What can I say now, it has been a tough year, but sometimes, 'just getting through' is good enough. This is from the FB Pain Management Australia page.
And there is no need to wait until things get better to dance while one can
One step at a time!
Since my marriage was also registered in France, I had to have it dissolved there as well, and of course, I did not get any help there either. I registered my request on the 20th of October 2020, the day my Australian divorce was finally granted. Since we were in the midst of covid-time, it was a very slow process. Yet, on the 9th of November 2021, my divorce was finally granted in France by the Nantes Tribunal de Grande Instance which deals with expatriates Civil Acts. I received the news from the Sydney French Consulate on the 30th of December, 2021.
This wasn't easy! ... yet a good omen to truly close the year.
